June 21, 2009

N. just asked me, "Mom, I wonder what it's like to be a mom."
I told him it was kind of hard to describe and he says, "just try"
so I said,
"It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but the best thing you'll ever do because you have to take care of people that can really drive you crazy, but whom you love more than anything."
How would you have answered the question?

June 11, 2009

Seven

My son turns seven today. I'm doing what I guess every mother does on the anniversary of her children's births. I'm thinking about that day seven years ago, and each time I look at the clock I think about what I was doing at this time on THAT day. Seven years ago, I was in the hospital having nurses and residents freaking out about the fact that I was in labor and I had chosen a (gasp!) home birth with a (double gasp!) lay midwife. What a crazy day!

I was exhausted. Dan was exhausted. Neither of us had slept the whole night, I had been pushing for over four hours and the baby was not coming out. We piled into my mom's station wagon and headed to the hospital, no sense in paying for and waiting for an ambulance, I was "fine" the baby wasn't in distress.

The stories that we tell over and over about that day...

1. The nurse that was taking me to labor and delivery was more stressed about the situation than Dan or I. She rolled me into the elevator and pushed the button, but the elevator kept stopping at the wrong floors because other people kept pushing the buttons. Dan and I were trying to keep from laughing and I thought about the irony of me, the woman in labor, having to calm the nurse, the professional.

2. When N was born, the doctor pulled him out and he said "Wheh!" that was it, just one short cry.

3. Dan asked the doctor "how was he?" the Doctor's answer, "wedged." Yeah, that's why I ended up with a C-section.

4. They wrapped him up and held him up by my head so that I could see my baby. I looked at him and then turned to Dan and said, "He has your eyes" Then Dan went with the nurse to the nursery and I fell asleep while they stitched me up.
I have such mixed emotions about that day and the whole birth experience, but the over-riding one is the joy that God blessed us with a son. A wonderful, beautiful son that we have had the joy of raising for the past seven years. I am so thankful that I have been given the privilege of watching him grow and can't wait to see what kind of a man he becomes.

N. on his seventh birthday
Not how, I know You can do it. Not who, I know You went through it. Not where, you're preparing a place for me. Not why, all my sin is the reason. Not what, Your return into season, but how long, how long will it be?
O momentary grace of mortal men, Which we more hunt for than the grace of God. --- Shakespeare, Richard III